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02-Oct-2020 19:58

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It resurfaced the familiar sense of erasure when, in a group setting, I have been able to measure the minute conversational attention paid to me compared to my white friends—as if my worthiness of being spoken to was being measured by my perceived attractiveness.

These actions may be subconscious and therefore unrealised from the other side, but, for us, it’s numbingly commonplace.

What’s most important, though, is to realise and acknowledge privilege. We mustn’t be lulled into believing that because there is more acceptance for white, cis, gay men, that it’s as easy for the rest of us.

What does it mean to put a label on your sexuality, to assign a category to your own existence? Does it result from your actions, or how you feel inside?

, formerly known as NCBI ROFL, is the brainchild of two prone-to-distraction biologists.

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Although coming out is a huge part of your life as an LGBTQ person and can be a liberating experience, it’s not for everyone, and some men are rejecting this what you embrace their label but have sex with guys who don’t?

An example is a gay Hispanic man who highlights the fact that he is a “light skin Hispanic (but people pass me for white).” For those with darker skin, like black, or South Asian men, this further reinforces the feeling of not being enough. Stonewall’s survey finally gives some credence to what many of us have been screaming into the void in our private lives.

It also justifies the need for events like UK Black Pride, where people of colour can have safe spaces to explore and express their identities. In Britain, the prevalent image of queerness—whether pictures from Pride or on television—is white, cis, gay men.

Therefore, we have assembled a month-long feast of our favorite science papers. ]It’s been known for a while that it takes less than a second for people to use their internal “gaydar” to decide if they think a man is homosexual or heterosexual, and such snap judgements tend to be right.

But can facial differences be used to distinguish between different types of gay men — specifically, those who define themselves as “tops” versus “bottoms”?

On the other hand, I feel the burden of my brown skin creating more oppression and more discrimination, in an already oppressed, discriminated and marginalised community. ’s Samira—the only black woman in the villa—question her self worth, her attractiveness, after failing to get picked to couple up.



So, I just sat back and let other people tip and my eyes reaped the benefits.… continue reading »


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Keeping in mind what I’ve learned from my own relationship and anecdotes I’ve picked up from women in similar situations, I’ve outlined the perks and challenges of dating an older man. I get asked a lot of questions about my boyfriend’s finances (why else would I date someone much older, right? It’s not actually anybody’s business, but I can tell you that I’ve never dated anyone because of money.… continue reading »


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