Dating almost two years
Chris and Kara are more open about what bothers them, especially if they are living together and can’t use distance to water down their irritations.
Here is where partners begin to see patterns – that that crazy drunken night and intense argument wasn't a one-time event after all, or that your partner’s wanting to spend six days with her family at Christmas is part of a bigger pattern of pulling in relatives anytime she has more than two days off from work.
This is the only way of knowing whether or not you are truly compatible.
Stage 2: Unsettled settling As Chris has noticed, the landscape has changed. This is not about fault or blame and more about, once again, chemistry – the oxytocin has dropped.
Researchers have found that oxytocin levels naturally drop in couples somewhere between 9 and 18 months.
The issue isn't about chewing and food, but about bringing honesty and realness into the relationship from the start so the person gets a true sense of who you really are and what is important to you.
The emotional side is finding that you have a lot in common, that your views of the world are the same, that you share a sense of humor or like the same music. One obvious danger or downside is that you never get beyond one or two dates.
Running along this is finding in each other what you most need – someone who listens or someone who seems decisive; someone who is gentle or someone who is strong and confident. well, literally chemistry, in this case the oxytocin that fuels the sexual attraction and attractiveness, the obsessing about the other, the feelings of falling in love. You find you have a lot in common but her personality reminds you too much of your ex.
Here they are: Stage 1: Oxytocin or bust This is where Tasha is at.