In dating an older
“Sometimes I definitely feel old, like when my girlfriend says, ‘Who’s Fiona Apple?
’ And for queer people specifically, the difference in dating people of different generations is huge, because we’ve had drastically different experiences of growing up.
Often younger people have less queer trauma.”And then you have to deal with all the haters.
Age-gap relationships come with a certain amount of stigma, and that external skepticism can start to infiltrate your couple.
And then maybe, eventually, you’ll be able to pay it forward and be the teacher, which is a dynamic that feels simultaneously perverse and generous (a good combo).
Like for example, it’s been kinda thrilling to be able to say, “Oh, you’ve never had a girl finger your butt before?
The Older Man had cool friends who had made movies and weren’t on their parents’ family plan. But while the daddy vibe had longevity in bed, in life it got old pretty quickly.
He gave me helpful advice on my career (“Don’t fuck your boss”) and about sex (“Stop screaming”). Whenever the Older Man and I went out, he chose the restaurant.
For instance, we were both making our first attempts at writing books.
Like, relationships are hard enough without your friends warning that your younger boyfriend is “using you.” Chelsea recalled, “In my previous relationship, when I had to tell my parents that I was dating someone nearly 30 years older than me, that was obviously stressful. People would shout stuff at us on the street, or mistake her for my mother, which always totally weirded me out.”Also, there are physical realities.